Lost in CSS Translation

CSS is THE coolest band ever, and this proves it. Obviously a lot of their stuff is in portuguese, and obviously I don't know how to speak portuguese, so my friend Chelsea and I decided to put their lyrics into an online translator to see what they've really been saying. Watch this magic...

Here's the CSS song "Bezzi" in portugeuse

Ele é incrível

Ele é italiano

Ele é japonês

Eu já virei freguês

Bezzi, eu já peguei o bezzi

Bezzi, eu já peguei o bezzi

Bezzi, eu já peguei o bezzi

De frente, de lado, de costas.

Bezzi, eu já peguei você

A mãe é budista

O pai come carne frita

De manhã ele desperta

Com uma nuvem negra em cima

Bezzi, eu já peguei o bezzi

Bezzi, eu já peguei o bezzi
De frente, de lado, de costas

Bezzi, eu já peguei você

Não mexe no cabelo dele,

Não mexe pede o conhaque dele,

Não mexe no armário dele,

Não pede os discos dele,

Seu cabelo é tão bonito,

Sua franja é tão legal,

Eu adoro a sua camisa

Você é o maioral!

And here it is when put into FreeTranslation.com:

He is incredible.

He is Italian.

He is Japanese.

I already will come client

Bezzi, I already catch the bezzi

Bezzi, I already catch the bezzi

Bezzi, I already catch the bezzi

Of front,of side, of back.

Bezzi, I already catch you

The mother is a Buddhist

THE father eats meat fries

Of morning he awakes

With a black cloud in top

Bezzi, I already catch the bezzi

Bezzi, I already catch the bezzi

Of front, of side, of back

Bezzi, I alreadycatch you

Does not it stir in the hair of him,

does Not stir asks the cognac of him,

does Not stir in the cupboard ofhim,

does Not ask the disks of him,

His hair is so pretty, Its fringe is so lawful, I worship to its shirt You are the boss!

<3333 Geniuses of songwriting

Potential bezzis

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Whats in a color?

The greatest thing about the 80s is that it can be defined by different color sets, and whats even better, it's music can be represented by different color sets. Black and Red means rock n roll, and cool rap, anything tough. Light purple, grey, and black represents deep, serious art bands that only college kids know about. And white is anything dumb and boring like inxs or duran duran. Catch my driftage? This is all from personal examination of course, different color sets will remind different people of certain things, certain types of music or songs, and people can make their own combinations that will evoke the spirit of the decade only too them. This is my favorite thing to do.

So yesterday while I was surfing the waves of the net I ran across two bands, and their debut albums, and was struck with an image of the 80s thats probably the best I've ever thought of, and was completely new to me. See lately, for whatever reason, I've been obsessed with these four colors, arranged here by me for your viewing pleasure:

I call them...sky blue, teal, moonstone, and grey. It could have a lot to do with my current obsession with Heathers, and Veronica's unfettered affection for anything blue, but I can't stop thinking about these colors. It should be said, too, that the film was released in 1989.

So these two bands I find last night are The Ocean Blue and The Sundays, who released their debut albums in 1989 and 1990, respectively. So combine the Ocean Blue's jangely airy 80s rock sound, the fact that their album came out in 1989, with my blue color set and it creates a trifecta of 80s time and space, truely taking me back and giving me the most incredible view of 1989 I have ever seen. Team this with The Sundays softgaze sound (also with the jangley guitars and vocal), and I've got myself a legit 80s color set. Imagine: Its a breezy, sparkling day in 1989, you've got a pair of jet black raybans on, shielding your eyes from the sun, you've got a sky blue shirt on, moonstone jeans, grey shoes, and under the teal sky you're listening to "You're not the only one I know" by the Sundays or "Between something and nothing" by the Ocean Blue, and you've got nothing on your mind but how good the song is. I'm pretty sure that's how 1989 was. Sure, I was only about 4 months old in the summer of 89, but I can still dream!

So whats in a color? or a color set? Are there years? Songs? What came first, the color set or the music? Whatever the case, 1989 just got a lot more beautiful, too bad I don't even remember any of the time that I actually spent in it! Aye aye aye!

Josh's cool theory #1

If I say Michael Angarano's name 5 times into my bathroom mirror will he appear behind me? It's worth a shot, right??

The Great Question

Life is full of What-ifs. You know, the question that begs to ask what if something absolutely important had been or will be completely different because of one little decision that was made at the beginning of said something. Questions like, what if there is life on other planets? Or what if Felicity had gone with Noel instead of Ben? Or what if TLC hadn't turned down "...Baby, one more time"? Every question is important if it has "what if" in front of it, but today I bring you the ULTIMATE What-if. A What-if SO great it'll have you asking "What if I never found this blog??" The question, ladies and gentlemen: What if HEATHERS had been directed by STANLEY KUBRICK?!

You see, when writer Daniel Waters finished his screenplay for the now cult fav film Heathers, he originally wanted Stanley Kubrick to direct it. He said that "Kubrick was the only person who could get away with a three-hour film". I know this is true because I read it on wikipedia, and on two other sites as well, so it's a fact. What if, right now, Heathers was a 3 hour piece of magic sitting along side your copy of Lolita and Full Metal Jacket as apart of the Stanley Kurbrick dvd collection? What if Heathers was a 3 hour epic depiction of teenaged angst and the ways in which people glamorize tragedy? Okay, so it's still an epic depiction of teenaged angst and the ways in which people glamorize tragedy, but what if it was three hours long and was directed by THE Stanley Kubrick?! Would Winona Ryder be in it? Would it contain such life changing lines as "Why are you pulling my dick, Heather"? Would it (somehow) be better? Would I have ever been able to sit through it all? So very many questions, but the truth is, I don't really mind that it wasn't directed by Mr. Kubrick. The film, as I see it, is perfect the way it is, something so rare and special that it literally instills in me that belief that everything happens for a reason. Or whatever. Point is, everything about this movie fell into place perfectly, in my opinion, it's just a miracle. Plus, Stanley Kubrick turned the script down, so it's not like scheduling conflicts or something got in the way of his directing it, he just didn't want to. I too read that on wikipedia, so it too is true. Still though, you gotta wonder what the world would be like today if Mr. Kubrick had said yes to the project. I know I'll be thinking about it for days to come.

But for every "What if" that turns out to be a miracle, theres one that creates an absolute travesty. Take for instance, mentioned above, the fact that TLC turned down the song "...Baby, one more time" and it was then given to Britney Spears, wherem the song catapulted her to immediate fame and changed everybodys lives forever. God, just knowing that if only one small decision had been made differently that maybe now noone would care about what Britney Spears is doing is enough to make me spew burrito chunks.

The Top 5 movies I want to live in

*edit: figured out the table situation!! Yessss

Anyway today I bring you a good list, a list called The Top 5 movies I want to live in. Thats right if there was ever a time that I wanted to live in a movie and get away from my life now is it. So here they are

5. October Sky: This is my small town 50s life DREAM. Where a young guy like myself can do something extraordinary if he just sets his mind to it...as long as he has a good music montage behind him of course. He can do all of this while still growing up and experiencing everything great about living in a small town. Sure I might have to work in a mine for a little bit, but why not? The days must go on forever there, and time is all I want right now.

4. Urban Legend: A world where urban legends actually happen and college girls still wear maroon lipstick and listen to chick rock? Felicity with murder?! YES! Plus I want to know Joshua Jackson.

3. Friday the 13th Part IV The Final Chapter: Okay if I lived in this movie my bedroom would be the coolest!! It'd have wood paneling on the walls and I'd have some rock posters and I would ALWAYS ALWAYS wear a red bandana around my head, I'd eat pizza everyday and listen to music and hey on the right day maybe even get chased by Jason. This one is best to live in cause instead of just being at a normal camp theres a house right NEXT to the camp site (or somethin) so I'd have a place to live and would always meet cool (hot) camp counselors haha. take me there!!


2. The Virgin Suicides: Everything has a yellow tone here and everything is melodic, sad, and thoughtful. I belong here. Everyone here that matters is a dreamer, and Heart plays whenever anyone makes out, that's awesome.


1. Halloween/Halloween II: Duh, everyone already knows this about me. Carpenter set up the most beautiful atmospheric look at suburban life, and had a madman killing people in it- I wanna go! Haha, really though, the world of Halloween and Halloween II are ones that I could live in happily every single day, and absolutely WANT TO. Which is funny because it's prob the movie that most resembles my life anyway, minus the madman and stuff, sometimes Tucson can really look like Haddonfield, and sometimes in April and October you'd really think you were there. Being chased by Michael would be cool though. Like me, and every other teenager, Lauries just trying to survive every day, I just don't have the fun of being chased by a madman while I'm going through it. Boo. The two most beautiful and ominous movies I've ever seen.

Silent Night, DEADLY Night

"Whats wrong, you just have a religious experience or something??"

Last night my friend Lindsay and I went to a showing of "Silent Night, Deadly Night" at the Loft. It was great because I've been trying to get a copy of the movie forrrever and have had no luck, so we both had never seen it before! And all we knew was that there was a killer Santa Claus in it, and that it was made in the 80s, so we HAD to see it, especially at the theatre.

The movie- Made in 1984, is about this kid Billy who sees his parents brutally murdered one Christmas Eve night by a maniac wearing a Santa Claus outfit. He spends his youth in an orphanage getting treated like real crap and is traumatized by any image of Santa. When he turns 18 he's set up with a job at a small toy store and it's here, at a Christmas party, that he SNAPS. He KILLS anyone thats been naughty (or annoying), and does so in awesome creative ways. Whats great about the killer in this one, Billy Chapman, is that he's 18 years old and VERY attractive. He's not all old and gross like all the other killers, he's cute and stuff, so it's okay when he kills people see? Haha, nah but really, the kids a looker and I wouldn't mind him being the last thing I ever saw. Even if he wasn't so good looking, it was interesting to see an 18 year old kid killing like the best of em.

Seeing this at the theatre was it's own special part of the movie. The theatre was PACKED and the audience was SO into it. Scenes that would have gotten just smirks in a private viewing got HUGE laughs and literally tons of applaud, totally deserving, it was great. The scene with the little girl that Denise is babysitting was especially awesome. Blast!!!

Everyone loved it, awesome movie. Plus now I'm totally in the holiday spirit, nice!

"Joyride"

Or: "How I found something great and learned to shoegaze from a mediocre movie".

And when I say "mediocre" I mean "I liked it!". Last week, on thursday, I was looking through the movies on OnDemand's FearNet channel. After watching "You Better Watch Out!", a christmas set horror movie with a killer santa clause, I thought it'd be cool to watch "Joyride", don't ask. Thinking I was about to watch that one scary movie with Paul Walker and the semi-truck, the "Joyride" I was actually about to watch was very, very different. It's this 1996 film starring Tobey Maguire and that one girl from Felicity (Amy Hathaway!), and this other guy. It's about this teenaged motel clerk (Maquire) who steals one of his guest's car one night with his friends, for a joyride, and the car turns out to be that of a female assassins!! No joke! Very 96, about a step up from the trash level of "The Doom Generation", and the acting is funny. So I enjoyed it very much. The best thing about it though was its SOUNDTRACK, which is just awesome. I liked a few of the songs throughout the movie and when the credits rolled I figured I should see who some of the artists were for fun. I wrote down like, all the names, and noticed that pretty much every artist was signed to 4AD, which is the label that originally took in the Breeders, and I was intrigued. Long story short- I did a few amazon seaches, dl a ton of albums, read some stuff, dl more, and noooow I'm like a bona fide shoegazing shoegazer!! Haha, the soundtrack included artists like Lush, Pale Saints, Spirea X, and Swallow. I didn't know it then, but these are all bands that were pretty well loved in the shoegaze community around the early 90s, and have all made some really incredible music. From there I got into Rollerskate Skinny, Chapterhouse, and Slowdive, also very popular with the shoegaze kids, and also all very good. I can't get enough of them! And I feel I've only scratched the surface of this thing called Shoegaze. Not like it's hard to love though, it's all washey and dreamy and noisey, with beautiful melodies and whispers and all, but it's sure got me hooked. It's pretty funny, last thursday I hadn't even heard of any of these bands, and now I prob couldn't live without em. And all from some cheap movie on tv that I had no intention of ever watching! It's great!! I love movies!!

Where I'll go from here I have no idea, yeah i'm a changed man now. Well not really haha, but it's still awesome the things movies can do for you, even when you don't expect it. It's all magic...